Thursday, May 14, 2009

Facebook and the usefullness of Cussing

At this point in time, everyone I know but my wife and penis have their own Facebook account. And it's okay that neither of them have joined the craze, seeing as how I hang out with both of them everyday, in one of their cases, literally "hanging out" all day.
You see, Facebook has replaced Myspace in the grown persons' world as a tool of communication between friends. Myspace is like the puberty version of Facebook, so everyone over the age of 21 has migrated to Facebook, which is supposedly more "adult".
Of course, Facebook is NOT more adult. In fact, for some reason, it seems like maybe the "adult" version of High School. I have basically added everyone I knew in high school to my friends list, with the ommission of a couple superchoads that I wanted to punch in the nards back then and probably would today also. My friends and I bullshit about entirely random stuff online, in between going to work and attending school. People get pissed off at each other, and instead of fighting like normal friends do, they delete the person from their friend list. This, of course, is the ultimate burn, to get "deleted". You've got to be a real slimeball to delete someone from your friends' list. Is this sounding at all childish and high school-like?
I thought so. And yet, I am addicted to it like the crack addicts that hang out behind the Shell station by my job. It is a fun way to keep in contact with people that live far away, and you are able to talk more shit to a person than normal, because well, it's online.
And that brings me to my second topic, which involves cussing.
It has recently come to my attention that I curse profusely and, in some instances, reference feces more than a standard guy is supposed to. I have been attempting to cut down on this, since I have a 2 year old around me that enjoys copying everything I do, including when I scratch my balls. But I am having a terrible time! I love to cuss. It makes everything sound funnier and more important.
For instance, if I were telling you that a new cd is good, would you be more prone to obtain the cd with this glowing endoresement: " That is a wonderful cd."
or this one: " That cd fuckin' kicks the balls out of me!"
Of course you would pick option 2. Here is another example: If I were asking you to share a donut with me, would you rather I ask you this way: " Might I please have a donut?"
or this way: " Give me one of those sweet ass mutha fuckin' donuts please!"
Redundant right? Everyone picks option 2. My point is made. Everything sounds better with cussing.
I suppose it will remain a work in progress.
Until next time - Mutha Fuckin' Peace Out!!

El Rey

Monday, May 4, 2009


A few days ago, I received some extraordinarily terrible news. A wonderful person and friend of mine, Jill St. Onge, had passed away suddenly while traveling in Thailand. This is something that greatly saddened me and I supposed that the only thing I could do would be to write something about Jill.
I've had a case of writer's block for the past couple of weeks, hence the lack of new blog activity here, but I have been flooded with memories and funny stories involving Jill throughout my high school career and my friendship with her during those times. In high school, and for a couple of years afterwards, I had a couple of different crews that I hung out with. I had the "Dude" crew, which consisted of my retarded guy buddies and generally involved lots of noogies and alcohol, and I had my "Girl" crew. Now, most guys don't get a Girl crew to hang out with, but for some cool reason, I was very lucky to have a crew of ladies that I considered my buddies. And we did pretty much any sort of cool activites that you can think of together. We went to every concert imaginable, hung out, and basically had an awesome time every day.
Jill was one of the girls in my Crew, and she was about as kick-ass of a person as I had ever met. She knew about all kinds of music, so right away we decided to be pals. She helped me organize senior parking lot dances before school, where we would skank to the rudest ska known to man before school started.
Jill also, for some odd reason, thought that I would do very cool things in this world, including becoming a famous radio dj. She went so far as naming me DJ Reynaldo (very witty) and making me my own cd's to distribute as a graduation present. I always thought that was the coolest thing ever and hopefully, she knew that.
Anyways, I suck at tributes, but I wanted to everyone to know that Jill was awesome, if they didn't already know.
I lost one of my crew, but I know Jill is still listening to that beautiful ska beat in the sky.

El Rey