Saturday, January 31, 2009

Cut the Mullet, Mr. West.

I'm sorry, did I miss the new Billy-Ray Cyrus memo that went around the Rocafella office last month?
What the fuck is Kanye doing with that Teen Wolf mullet he has been quietly cultivating? Is he auditioning to be in the new Mad Max: Even More Beyond the Thunderdome movie? Is he taking part in a Ready For The World reunion that I’ve never heard of? (RFTW is an 80’s dance group, btw.) And, maybe most importantly, does he ever want women to play with his ding-dong again?
These are the questions I need answered from Mr. West, because I haven’t seen sideburns missing in action that long since the last House Party movie.
C'mon pal.
Eazy-E just called. He said he wants his hair back.

El Rey


Okay, I know that some of you may be asking yourselves, "What the fuck is a Dobler?"
Well, a Dobler is my reference to the character of Lloyd Dobler, played to perfection by John Cusack in the movie Say Anything. For the weirdos that haven't seen, nay, haven't even HEARD of Say Anything, please go rent it. It will help you understand why I call my blog the Dobler Effect.
You see, when I was a young buck, I thought that Lloyd Dobler was the cat's pajamas. He listened to the Clash and Red Hot Chili Peppers. He was a professional kickboxer. And he was a professional romantic who didn't mind having his ass kicked by love. He was the epitome of cool, and he didn't even think he was cool, which made him 5x cooler.
Lloyd got dumped on by the girl he loved, he got dumped on by the rich people who never thought he would amount to anything, and he got dumped on by his own friends who thought that he aimed too high. The cool thing was, Lloyd believed in himself and good things always happened to him because of it.
So when I was in high school, I invented a phrase for Lloyd called "The Dobler Effect", which basically said, anytime something good happens, it's due to "The Dobler Effect". If a girl goes out with you, if you got tickets to a rad concert, if you get a promotion at work, you can thank Lloyd Dobler. Lloyd Dobler is so cool that, by extension of watching him be cool, you become cool too. And since good things happen to Lloyd Dobler, if you believe in his cool, good things will happen to you as well.
Hence, "The Dobler Effect".
So there you go kids. Go watch you some Say Anything and prepare for good things to happen.
Oh, and read my blog. Also known as "The Dobler Effect".
Because if you read this blog, you will inherit a mystical sea pony.

El Rey

Welcome To My New Blog!

Hey little rockers! Welcome to the Dobler Effect. :)

I started this blog to basically rant about all of the things that I love and hate about popular culture. And when I say popular culture, I mean popular NERD culture. My posts will usually include varied topics such as : Music, comics, sports, movies, books, and mullets. Maybe little people as well. I like little people, they rock balls.
Anyways, if that at all sounds rad to you, please stay tuned. This site will be updated daily, maybe even more frequently if the urge hits me.
Prepare for some science to be dropped on you, homies!

El Rey