Saturday, March 28, 2009

What's Hip?

In my neverending quest to stay cool throughout the years, I've given many things a try and have even been decently successful at a few. Some of my fads were (and probably in this order):

- I tried, and basically succeeded, at wearing Hammer pants to school almost every day that I was in the 4th grade. - I also believed that I was the third member of the legendary rap duo known as Kris Kross. This made taking a leak problematic since all of my clothes were now worn backwards.

- I pioneered a new look at my school by getting a state-of-the-art haircut that was named "The Step". This revolutionary haircut is now more commonly known as a "Mushroom" or "Bowl" cut, and is generally the basis for all laughing now done at my expense when the family gets together and looks at old photographs. Curse you, Rider Strong from Boy Meets World! Curse you! - I had a case full of pogs that was housed in basically the tallest waterbong that anyone had ever seen. Amazing that pog companies got away with that design. It was a 6 foot tall tube that I used to intimidate my opponents before I played them. Man, if pogs was a real sport, I'm pretty sure I could have turned pro. Sigh.

-I had a life-size poster of Jenny McCarthy on my room wall, and while I'm not quite sure if this is a fad, my palms were just as sore as every other fifteen year-old boy with that poster in his room.

- I convinced all of my friends that Spacehog and The Verve Pipe were going to be HUGE one day. Instead, their albums lay dormant at the bottom of every discount bin any record stores have to offer. Sadly, I still like both of those bands.

- I tried to learn how to swing dance because I was convinced that it was the wave of the future. Even though it was really the wave of the past. That came back to the future. And then left. Huh?

- I tried out to be a VJ for MTV during a VJ search and I actually made it pretty far. Then I met Carson Daly and decided that if I was ever that big of an assclown, I would let a midget kick me in the junk. Still midget-free to this day, I'd like to add. I am also still money-free and not famous. Go figure.

- I recently activated a Twitter account. I hate it. I can't figure out how to reply and if you are someones' friend, they don't have to be yours. So the only person I have following my Tweets is a Shaquille O'neal Casino? I don't even know what that is!

I suppose there is no moral to this post, but it sure was fun remembering how much of a jack-ass I am, right?

El Rey

1 comment:

  1. I'm afraid to admit that I had that same bowl haircut in 4th grade, and yes, it gets just as many chuckles.

    Totally remember doing the swing dance thing too - senior prom the group I shared a limo with were all very retro and might I add super cool!

    Fuck Twitter.