And when I say hunt, I'm not talking about moose or caribou. No, there is only one thing that gives me the satisfaction of the chase and capture that I so desperately crave. The flowing hair, the delicate features, the mustaches. What?
"Mustaches?", you say? You mean you thought I was talking about girls? Hell no fools, I'm married!
No, I'm talking about hunting that rarest of breeds, the only animal that is truly untamable:
The Mullet!Yes my friends, this time every year I become obsessed with that all-too familiar hobby known as Mullet Hunting. You just can't beat going to the park with your family, or going out on a date with your significant other, and seeing grown men with haircuts that would make Larry and Balki from Perfect Strangers blush.
I especially like those entreprenurial parents who decide that it's not enough for the husband and wife to have mullets, but they decide that all of their kids need this ass-kicking cut as well.
There are a number of different mullet classifications and styles, too many to list actually. But, my personal favorite has always been known as the "Midgi-Mullet". This is a mullet that just happens to be worn by a little person, also known lovingly as a midget.
I know that some of you may be asking yourselves,"Well, if El Rey loves mullets so much, why doesn't he have one?"
That is a completely valid question and here is your answer:
El Rey wants to have sex with someone other than his hand.
Happy Mullet Hunting!