Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Nothing But A Good Time

Every year as the weather changes and the leaves start turning different colors, a feeling comes over me that I just can't explain. It's a primal urge that makes me feel like a caveman trying to start fire. An urge to run wild. An urge to gather. An urge to HUNT.

And when I say hunt, I'm not talking about moose or caribou. No, there is only one thing that gives me the satisfaction of the chase and capture that I so desperately crave. The flowing hair, the delicate features, the mustaches. What?
"Mustaches?", you say? You mean you thought I was talking about girls? Hell no fools, I'm married!
No, I'm talking about hunting that rarest of breeds, the only animal that is truly untamable:

The Mullet!

Yes my friends, this time every year I become obsessed with that all-too familiar hobby known as Mullet Hunting. You just can't beat going to the park with your family, or going out on a date with your significant other, and seeing grown men with haircuts that would make Larry and Balki from Perfect Strangers blush.
I especially like those entreprenurial parents who decide that it's not enough for the husband and wife to have mullets, but they decide that all of their kids need this ass-kicking cut as well.


There are a number of different mullet classifications and styles, too many to list actually. But, my personal favorite has always been known as the "Midgi-Mullet". This is a mullet that just happens to be worn by a little person, also known lovingly as a midget.

I know that some of you may be asking yourselves,"Well, if El Rey loves mullets so much, why doesn't he have one?"

That is a completely valid question and here is your answer:

El Rey wants to have sex with someone other than his hand.

Happy Mullet Hunting!

El Rey

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