Monday, February 23, 2009

Bands Reunited

Have you ever suddenly realized that you are getting old? You know what I'm talking about. One day you are checking out your buff pecks and chiseled chin in the mirror, and seemingly overnight, you are buying a man bra for yourself and trying to figure out why your face now resembles Starr Jones' ass. Oh sure, it starts out innocently enough. It's cute right now when your lady finds a gray hair, but how is she going to feel when you look like Michael McDonald's mutant stepbrother? Or remember how you thought you were going to be the cool guy who would shave his head if he ever started to go bald, but when the time came, you decided to keep the skullet instead? And, worst of all, due to all of those years of partying on Prince's yacht, your face now has more wrinkles than Sheryl Crow's arms!
Folks, these are the thoughts that have been running through my head ever since I recieved an invitation to my 10-year high school reunion a couple of days ago. This was my first sign that I may someday be getting old. I mean, I look pretty much the same, not accounting for my hobo-like weight gain and new, Eskimo-round face. But what is everyone else going to look like? I have this running scenario in my head that my whole reunion will consist of me and John Cusack killing a deadly assassin in the school hallways and then burning his body in the furnace room.
Wait a minute, I just described the entire plot to the movie Grosse Point Blank. Oops, that John Cusack is a rascal! Always popping up in my day dreams! Moving on...
So I guess what I'm trying to say is: Where did all the time go?
I don't feel any older, in fact, I feel nerdier than I did in high school sometimes. I still collect comic books. I still listen to crazy amounts of music. And I still make my friends ask my wife out on dates for me. Well, not really on the last part, but that is how I originally got her to go out on our first date. Sucker!
But I have decided that I am going to attend this so-called "Reunion" in July. I was part of that Romy and Michelle's B-Squad in high school, so I don't really have any enemies and I had a fair amount of friends. I have an insane desire to see if everyone turned out the way they planned or if they became crazy Meth addicts that were extras on the Knight Rider remake. Either way, it should make for an interesting weekend. And my wife can see me do the Tootsie Roll with my retarded friends! Yes!
Yosemite High 4 Life! Suck it!

El Rey


  1. As usual, your perfect execution of verbal prowess does not fail to make me laugh while everyone else around me is wondering what is so funny on my phone. Wonder who is going to brave (or nerdy enough) to bring a video camera to the reunion to capture "Tootsie-Roll: A Decade Later"??

  2. Ooh, I like the sound of that! It's like Grease 2, only with slightly better dancing!